Feeling a little off balance
Here I am, once again coming to you from 36,000 feet, flying home from a quick business trip to Florida. Seems like this has become my best “cruising altitude” for finding time and inspiration to work on my blog. When all the distractions fall away and I have this quiet time, I realize that I have been working non-stop lately, scarcely taking a day off, and find that I am happy as pie with it! Don’t get me wrong, some of my best “work” happened poolside, and I did take breaks in the mornings to play and see friends. And there has been the occasional argument with my beloved, Jason, over how much I am working. So, this brings me to thinking about balance – we use that word a lot, but what does it really mean? A worthwhile thought exercise, I said to myself…
There is purpose behind why I am working this hard, and an endpoint, or at least a point at which I know it will be okay to ease up on the gas pedal. I am still in the early stages of my career in real estate, so not only am I climbing the learning curve, I have to invest time and effort in establishing a foundation. Then there is the video and photography business that I share with Jason and adore (the business and him 😊). While I don’t see myself working like this forever, I do feel the need and see the value, in “recharging my batteries” every now and then, mostly by spending quality time with my loved ones. Quality over quantity. Which brings me to this thing called balance.
Balance tip #1: pay attention to what the universe is telling you about what path to follow.
Back in 2017, I took a holistic health coaching course that culminated in my own certification as a coach. I was so stoked about the potential of holistic health practices to change people’s lives for the better – like how whole plant-based diets helped people with diabetes turn their lives around – even reduce their need for daily medications. I was introduced to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition® (IIN), a year-long program that taught me so much about wellness – my own and how I could help others with all that I had learned.
I tried to start a health coaching business after this experience, but I wasn’t getting any affirmation from the universe for me to continue. Now looking back, it wasn’t my path. I feel that when you are struggling too much to get something started, it’s not meant to be. By contrast. my photo and video business has always been a YES from the universe. I love the work, it has never seemed hard to get clients, and my clients love me. The same is true for real estate.
Always look for those messages from the universe. Yes, you will have challenges and obstacles. That is what makes life exciting. However, when it becomes steady stream of stress over satisfaction, a lot of “no’s” instead of affirmations that you are on the right path, listen to the message and change course. No regrets. Just take the valuable life lessons with you and move on.
Balance tip #2: stress can kill you; make it a priority to find ways to reduce or manage the inevitable stress that creeps into all our lives
How do I stay so chill? Well, for one thing, I don’t always, just ask my son or boyfriend. I can have a quick temper, come unglued, feel off balance. Taking time to lay out by the pool is a sure way for me to relax, but let’s be honest, we can’t just hop on a plane to a warm, sunny place every time we get stressed out, so what to do? That’s when I tap into my inner toolkit of how to handle the stress.
IIN showed me a great tool called the circle of life. (See below; click on it and it will open in a new window from which you can print it out or just sketch it out on a piece of paper.) Like wedges of a pie, the circle is divided up into different categories. Now, look at each category and place a dot where you feel you are: closer to the edge is, “hey, I got this” or closer to the middle is, “hmm, I need to work on this and figure out some solutions.” When you are done look at the dots that are closest to the middle and just pick one for now that you want to focus on this month. This “exercise” helps me get clear about what I need to focus on. In fact, I just bought a new planner in which I have pasted this tool for keeping me on purpose wherever I go! Now I refer to it steadily, at least once a month.
For me, I opted to pick two this month because I know that come May – wedding season – my life is going to get crazy busy for the video and photography biz. I chose giving my house some much-needed love and heck, since I am going to be moving soon, now is the perfect time to de-clutter. And once the clutter is gone, it will be easier to maintain and keep clean. Two for the price of one! Hand-in-hand with that, I want to get exercise back into my daily routine – I have always found that working out de-stresses me automatically and it’s good for my physical health. Another win-win – see how the benefits can multiply when you get focused.
I don’t plan out every detail of how I am going to reach my monthly goal, there’s just something about the process of writing it down in my planner than secures it in my mind. Only when I take on a big project, like when I decided to create this website, I found it helped to break it down into smaller milestones, more manageable and a way to feel accomplished as I got through each successive step.
Do what feels best for you. Just making it a priority will make it into a habit, like having lunch, it becomes routine and not a constant cycle of pause, re-set, start again – the wheels just turn, and you find yourself making progress. How good does that feel!?
I highly recommend doing this once a month. If you are feeling overwhelmed and feel like you need more, I highly recommend looking into getting a health coach! I loved the health coaching program I went through so much that I inspired my good friend, Lindsey, to attend. She is now a certified health coach. She teaches small, fun health and wellness habits that are easy to adopt. Just signing up for her newsletter, following her on social media, or reaching out to her for a phone consultation will do wonders. I’ll be happy to put you in touch.
Balance tip #3: when you need an immediate chill pill – any time you feel like the wheels are coming off the train you call your life, do this – meditate
Let’s do this this together. A very simple meditation gets my body relaxed and quiets down all the “noise” that is my stressful thoughts bombarding my mind. This allows me to listen better, or tune in, to my intuition. Just sit somewhere comfortable with your back straight. Place your feet either on the floor or sit directly on the ground with your legs crossed. Finish reading this first and then close your eyes. All I want you to do is breathe and focus on your breath moving through your body, bringing nourishing oxygen to all your cells as you inhale and as you exhale, feel yourself releasing all the stress. Your shoulders should relax down from your ears. Your hands should be relaxed and not in a fist. Just continue doing this for however long you find comfortable and let your thoughts come and go. Don’t try to force anything. When you are ready, open your eyes slowly and enjoy feeling refreshed!
Balance tip #4: when you feel like life has not only gone off the rails but tossed you out along the tracks in the mud, be kind to yourself – rest and have a good cry, but do not despair. The help you need is within you and around you – you need only ASK and you WILL find a way through the storm
My blissful flight through the puffy clouds gave way to a ten-day ride through that mud. It feels like I’ve crashed and burned. Not a good place. Balance, where ARE you? Ok, but at least I’m doing the asking part… first looking inward for the lesson in what I am experiencing, knowing that even the toughest things happen for a reason, to teach us something or prompt us to become an even better, fuller version of our true selves.
My crash and burn came in the form of a big hurt by someone I’ve known forever and care deeply about. The people we meet in life can blossom into beautiful friendships through which we learn and grow together. We are there for each other through the birth of our children who we hold and love as if they were our own. We watch our hairs turn into the most beautiful shades of silver, share the sweet sound of laughter, swap stories about crazy party nights, about heartaches and dreams – all the kaleidoscope of life.
As much as we are enamored with the idea of “forever,” we meet some people for a season. The season may be just for a winter. Some stay for many seasons, but they have an expiration date on them. Usually these are the painful ones. There are lessons through that pain.
You ask yourself, why? What did I do to deserve this? Have the guts to look back at yourself in the mirror. Because the answers are all there, reflecting from that relationship staring back sharply at you. If you dare look you will learn the secrets that you tried to forget. The answers that have always been there, but you had buried them so deep because of some pain in your younger years. When you just learned that there is bad in the world. You weren’t prepared. No one had thought to tell you. So, you buried the pain, and now here is the moment to say, I am ready. I am ready to level up. I accept this challenge.
Maybe it’s that I care too much and love too hard. I put veils up, like the numbing effect of a drink making it easier to just see lightness and goodness, without having to feel the sting of hidden truths. Or maybe I’m shedding my skin and being reborn. It sure does feel like hard labor right now. Just like Seven being 2 weeks overdue and me trying to push my way through the best I could, yet I still ended up needing a C-section. In spite of all the pain and angst, my beautiful son was born. Like the rainbow that follows the fierce thunderstorm. All is back in balance.
And finally, remember where I said help is all around you, just ask? I am so grateful for the many ears who have listened to me cry this week. I am blessed with some beautiful souls in my life. I appreciate every single one of you, and you ALL know who you are. Even if we didn’t get to chat about my skin shedding, know that I thought about you, and you gave me strength and love.
Now I will revisit my own balance tips, my ”notes to self” – make time for quiet meditation and listen to what the universe is teaching me, check in with my circle of life and tomorrow, I shall be back on task cleaning my house and going to boxing class. For tonight, I will be kind to myself. I will cuddle with my Otter and take a well-deserved night off to cry, relax, and sleep. I love this world and I am thankful.
